Rocky Mountains declare a state of casual indifference towards nearby Albertan city

Awe- inspiring mountain range to remain pretty far away. Recent statement from the mountain peaks declare they are to remain somewhat uninterested in the day to day affairs of the general human population. The Rocky Mountains state that, despite the apparent visibility of them from this tiny and frantically crawling human situation, they are not, …

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Alberta’s Cancelled Everybody, Go Home

Local publication startles world with blunt phrasing. Edmonton WestStar After what seems like an endless amount of disappointing economic news resulting from an entirely predictable, if not Gatsby-esque crash in oil prices, a local publication has come forward with an announcement. "That's it, Alberta's cancelled everybody. Go home.” Whether or not an province could logistically …

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Squirrel Finds Current Canadian Household Debt Alarming

Notable squirrel economist ‘has been preparing for months.’ It seems that it's not only our financial elites who are finding our current overburdened credit situation something to chatter about. Notable economist and financial expert, Black Squirrel That Sometimes Chases Large Grey Squirrel, has released a comment Monday regarding Canadians and their worrisome spending habits, particularly …

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Poll: Nation’s Children Will Vote Stephen Harper If He Can Demonstrate ‘Superior’ Minecraft Skills

Edmonton- With the ongoing federal election swiftly underway, a recent poll conducted by the Edmonton West Star has concluded that the nations children, peoples ages 0-16, would only vote for the PC candidate Stephen Harper if he could demonstrate superior skills in the international video game, Minecraft. This is a startling discovery, as a year …

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Alberta’s current economic problems inspires suprising ‘Multitude’ of cynicism: An Infographic

Edmonton West Star March 15th 2015 As the finacial world explodes over the news that Alberta has officially ‘done gone broke’ as one economist has aptly stated, researchers at the Edmonton West Star have come to the startling conclusion that the province's reaction is ‘surprisingly varied’ in the types of rage it is feeling. "We …

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How to Move from Edmonton to Calgary as a God-forsaken Traitor

Moving can be difficult especially when it makes you a no good, cock-sucking sell out. If recently you have had to move from your beloved hometown into enemy headquarters, such as from London to Paris, Los Angeles to San Francisco, or Edmonton to Calgary, you might experience a wide range of negative reactions in regards …

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Editorial: Calgary offers Edmonton ‘Suspicious’ Amount of Douchebags

The Edmonton Weststar,  November 9th, 2011 Many times, our southern neighboring brothers have proved themselves handy through their bustling,  cut-throat white collar scene that was mercilessly stolen from behind our city limits. Being what they refer to as 'the rightful capital' of this fair and awesome province, Calgary enjoys plenty of victory not always shared with the tough, …

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