Edmonton West Star March 15th 2015
As the finacial world explodes over the news that Alberta has officially ‘done gone broke’ as one economist has aptly stated, researchers at the Edmonton West Star have come to the startling conclusion that the province’s reaction is ‘surprisingly varied’ in the types of rage it is feeling.
“We were expecting really just one type of disappointment from the hardworking men and women of this fine province, sort of a tired helplessness that develops from politely putting up with forty years of the political corruptions of our ruling Conservative overlords, but we have found that this is simply not true. Instead, the drop in oil prices and resulting job losses have inspired a myriad of reactions, ranging from ‘blackened, cemented hatred’, to mocking ‘ I told you so, I’m not surprised’ all the way to a dangerously silent, seething rage. Really quite surprising, and it shows that Albertans are a diverse, colorful group of angry disenfranchise people, who, when frustrated, show their feelings in interesting, albeit hilariously inappropriate ways.” says the lead research analyst on the project.
The West Star hopes to use this research to sell to companies that are working on developing an antidote to such cynicism, as it generally brings up tough and difficult questions in regards to where the province is going politically and culturally.
“Lets face it, if most of the province is just going to turn into jaded sacks of garbage ever ten years when our fiscal system goes sideways, we might as well just dissolve our boundaries and become one giant prairie state with neighbors Saskatchewan and Manitoba, also know as the ‘surprisingly happy despite obvious set backs’ provinces.” states one analysts working on the project.
Neighbors Manitoba and Saskatchewan were unavailable to comment on such plans, with Manitoba reiterating previous 1980’s era statement ‘”I’m sick of your shit Alberta, every time you go broke you call me up, I swear to god, honestly now.”
Research points to the group being split in several different categories. For more information, please click on the Infographic as follows: