Notable squirrel economist ‘has been preparing for months.’
It seems that it’s not only our financial elites who are finding our current overburdened credit situation something to chatter about. Notable economist and financial expert, Black Squirrel That Sometimes Chases Large Grey Squirrel, has released a comment Monday regarding Canadians and their worrisome spending habits, particularly our current household debt levels.
In his address, he states that, to his people, our current situation of owing approximately $1.69 dollars to every dollar earned is downright irresponsible, given how most of everything outside will be frozen soon.
Apparently, Canadian squirrels everywhere have been aware of the coming winter months for ‘some time’, and have made the necessary precautions to keep their invested gains locked securely in places that they are confident nobody will find.
Squirrels are notoriously ‘bear market’ strategists, but have been known to sometimes be labeled as headstrong bulls on occasion due to their habit of occasional forgetting where they have stored their caches.
However, months of instinctual gathering, starting sometime in near the end of July and going through the autumn – often resulting in frantic and circulating turf wars with rival Grey Squirrel – seem to put squirrels like him at the top of the list for Canadians who are prepared for the hardships this winter.
Many banking experts disagree, stating that squirrels have not yet developed the means of intrinsic interest rate calculations, and would not understand the economy as a whole, commenting simply “Sometimes you find their peanut caches in your ski boots in the garage, and you just gotta wonder, why the ski boots?”
Notable Black Squirrel economist recognizes that he does sometimes face ‘heavy losses’ this way, but also wonders why the ski boots are taken out and used in the winter some years, and in others, not.
Disagreements aside, the squirrel finished his message on Monday morning by suddenly running up local outdoor tree to a branch near the top, letting out a series of scolding squelching sounds that can only be described as:
All while waving his tail up and down.
In all likelihood, directly aiming the looming financial crisis. Edmonton WestStar, Sept. 14th, 2015