Alberta’s Cancelled Everybody, Go Home

Local publication startles world with blunt phrasing. Edmonton WestStar After what seems like an endless amount of disappointing economic news resulting from an entirely predictable, if not Gatsby-esque crash in oil prices, a local publication has come forward with an announcement. "That's it, Alberta's cancelled everybody. Go home.” Whether or not an province could logistically …

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Layoffs Increase in Downtown Calgary: Area Now Considered ‘Visitable’

Calgary- Due to the recent spike in industry layoffs spurned from the downward trend in the resource and commodity markets, the downtown core of Canada’s favorite ‘Arch Villain’ city is now deemed ‘visitable’ by many everyday residents. This marks a drastic change for an area once considered ‘lost’ to many of the city’s hard working, …

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Editorial: I May Not Be a Big City Lawyer but I Sure Would Like to Be Paid Like One

The 2008 recession may seem to be a scary, unmanageable beast of many heads, with a root so deep it will take the 2012 Mayan prophecy to rectify it. However, could this only be fear tactics from on high to keep the common man from indulging in what they so very much deserve? Alberta is …

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Editorial: Why Anybody East Of (And Including) Winnipeg is Considered an ‘Easterner’

The Edmonton Weststar,  Nov 14th, 2012 The East has traditionally been the 'Canadian' part of Canada, the West being a dumping ground for all religious, economic, and sexy extremes located within our northern borders. But what comes of the relationship born in such disparity? The East and West are like green and red, two colours …

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Left-wing Canada ‘not talking to’ Right-wing Canada

The Edmonton WestStar, Nov 5th, 2012 “I don't even know what I did!' says an emotional Right-wing Canada on Sunday evening, “We were like all fine or whatever and then suddenly she's not answering my text messages or calls!”  The left and right wing political mindsets have been undoubtedly on the rocks lately, but nobody …

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‘Buddy’ to replace term ‘Comrade’ in modern socialist dictatorships

The Edmonton Weststar, Nov 2nd, 2012 In light of new social developments, think tanks, politicians, and worker unions alike are switching to using the term 'buddy' instead of 'comrade' when referring to another citizen of equal value. In an attempt to even the playing field made unpopular by the smelly and directionless 'Occupy' movements, this replacement …

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