Tassimo introduced to markets ‘through awesome 1980’s timewarp’

The Edmonton West Star 01/07/2013 Packaging technology from outdated decades  make for profitable dividends in contemporary markets. Newly discovered time-bending technologies make it possible for old, outdated and environmentally unfriendly consumer products from the past to once again bounty our store shelves.

“The most profitable trend right now  is to emulate the indulgences of the 1980’s in a sort of, post-consumerist celebration of naive optimism,” says key business analyst, Kieth Richardson. “People want it to be the 1980’s. It reminds them of a simpler,  especially moronic time. We supply them with the type of product that would most closely mimic the way the 1980’s would have thrown these hilariously wasteful non-recyclables out. Market research proves that more layers of needless packaging means a more satisfied customer, at least in the 1980’s it did. That is what we are really going for here.”

Most analysts are optimistic for the future of technologies transplanted from the past. Insiders point to the upcoming launches of aerosol-canned water and  single-use microwave ovens.