The Edmonton Weststar, Nov 13th, 2012

New reports indicate that the much heated debate over the use of the word ‘marihoochie’ when describing the illicit substance is officially over. Up until now, the ruling government had banished the use of the word ‘marihoochie’ on the grounds that it ‘sillys up’ the the rhetoric surrounding this awful and strangely non-threatening substance.

The chief constable in charge of reinforcing the previous law had this to say about the surprise decriminalization “Well I can see where the law makers are coming from, I mean, ‘marihoochie’ is a pretty funny way to talk about marijuana, and it should be allowed to be spoken in public, but I still find the ‘hoochie’ part a tad sexist. After all, this is Canada, ‘hoochies’ here are known as women, chicks, or lady friends. Plus, the plant itself is a far cry from being a ‘hoochie’, after all the drug busts I have dealt with, I never once was backed talked or ‘hooched’ at. Most of them are just doing it because they have to.”

But critics to the decision are outraged at the flagrant disregard the their feelings on the matter. “I feel my concerns were not consulted at all,“ one sheltering mother of three exclaims “Here I was, had my whole opinion lined up in my head while at home with the kids, and that useless MLA couldn’t even vouch for his constituents! That’s the last time I think in my brain about voting for him! Goddamn Premier’s gonna have to find a new nephew to put into office!”

But proponents for the new decriminalization only make the courts decision look worse “I think marihoochie is an important part of Canadian life. I think everybody should have to be around it, make it part of the curriculum. Hell, when I was in junior high, lousy oppressive teachers made us go behind the electrical boxes clearly visible from French class to smoke. It was fascist! Everybody has the right to smoke whenever, wherever, and in front of whomever they choose!”

When reminded that this article was about decriminalizing the word ‘marihoochie’ and not actually making it legal to use, this proponent was dazed, somewhat confused about the turn in the conversation. They didn’t seem to be able to comprehend the difference.

Will this new action change the face of the use of the word ‘marihoochie’ in Albertan society? Probably not, as it is used so frequently and by so many people, they don’t even need to follow what the politicians think anymore.

13/11/2012