SIDNEY BC – Data from the WestStar Vote Racket poll has revealed strong support for the Green Party of Canada in a sizeable demographic of Canadian non-voters. An impressive 67% of jaded-Canadians responded that “Like, if my vote actually mattered, I would vote Green.”

Green Party leader Elizabeth May is also the Prime Minister of choice among those too jaded to vote. Consistent with polls in prior campaigns, three-quarters of jaded-Canadians agreed or strongly agreed that “They’re all crooks anyways—except Elizabeth May. She’s pretty cool.”

The WestStar poll also revealed that 23% of jaded-Canadians claimed they think voting is really important, and they’ve always voted before, but changes to voter identification requirements meant they can’t vote this time—how messed up is that?

However, 30 seconds of research revealed that over 90% of these respondents could vote without any issues because they are either registered already, simply need to spend 10 minutes in a bank, or could even just update their mobile-phone billing address and then bring their mobile phone to the polling station.