AQUARIUS : You’re really hitting the wall of your recent ventures, and this afternoon its best to let others clean up the mess. Be wary of incurring any new debts, and especially avoid lending a helping hand. You can weather through this, but you’ll need to go back to those useful bad habits for help.
PISCES: Considerable roadblocks to accomplishing anything. Tensions will flare at work when you’re the last one to deny responsibility for a costly oversight in delegating. Strange dripping from ceiling will have unforeseen consequences, and you’re going to regret not telling the guy while he was here.
ARIES: You’ll send a clear message if you don’t send a thank you note: what do you have to thank them for anyways? It’s time to stand up for yourself, so when you’re feeling passive-aggressive, act on it. On the weekend, repeatedly mistake the dripping faucet for the sound your phone makes when you get a text.
TAURUS: Anything is possible, but for you Taurus, it remains unlikely. Your forecast is an uneventful trudge to no end. The upside is you won’t owe anyone anything. But this won’t prevent them from asking you for it anyway.
GEMINI: With Mercury in the shame-house, you need to clean up your act before the weekend, when Saturn ascends in the jaded-ambivalence-house. Focus first on that situation at work, and remember, now is not a bad time to declare bankruptcy. Tonight, take a warm bath and try not to drown.
CANCER: You’re in for a rough ride. Both channels will be showing commericals at the same time. By the time you remember why you needed to meet with your boss, they’ll already be taking Friday off, leaving you with their workload, and asking you via sticky-note to come in on Saturday.
LEO: Lay low this week, Leo. Your plans are piecing together, but you haven’t gotten away with them yet. You’re in for some headaches when abandoned problems start to resurface. Ignore all their nagging, and make sure you only nag people you won’t need later. You’ll be able to brag soon if you wait it out at the pub until the money comes through. Lucky numbers 88,17,21,30
VIRGO: This is finally the week where you’ll have the courage to resolve that conflict, but the person you’ve offended has long since written you off. Don’t sweat it, because you need the extra time to get back to feeling bad about missed connections. Fall asleep in front of the world news, and dream about all the people who are worse off than you.
LIBRA: You know what you need to do Libra, and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t do it. You ended up in this mess by making too many of your own decisions. If you stop getting involved in what you’re passionate about, you’ll feel less depressed, and maybe he’ll think about taking you back.
SCORPIO: Since nobody seems to understand you, you’ll finally start to wonder if you’re the one who doesn’t understand. Perfect time to find new hobbies with which to feel comfortably emotionally detached. In the evenings, you’ll make efforts not to miss television shows, but they will all be reruns.
CAPRICON: This is a good week to call in a favour, but an even better week to get what you want anyways, and leave no one the wiser. Don’t be scared to burn a bridge or two, and leave the scene of any accident. Whatever you’re thinking, don’t return all those messages.
SAGGITARIUS: A friend will finally admit that you had the worst thing stuck in your teeth during the industry networking night, and this will put you into a downward spiral. Don’t forget that you hate your mother’s advice, or you’ll call her just to have somebody to talk to, and wind up with another mediocre date that you’ll need an excuse to skip.